the Japery  §  Japus Gassalascus, Expectorator.

because ye were neither hot nor cold, I will spew you from my mouth

Another pub(l)ic spectacle from the New Pantagruel

St. Tammy, Our Lady of Preservatives

November 23, 2004

A ten-year-old grilled cheese sandwich allegedly bearing the image of our Sacred Lady has just sold for $28,000. The buyer clearly forgot to clear this with Vatican Investigators or otherwise he would have known that the image is not of the Blessed Mother at all, but rather of Tammy Faye Bakker. The resemblance is actually quite striking. That the grilled cheese should be free from mold after ten years is certainly no miracle either, what with the preservative character of processed flour and milk products these days. All of which begs the really interesting question: How much more money could the sandwich-seller have gotten had she correctly identified the toasted image as St. Tammy, Our Lady of Preservatives?


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