The Play Called the Great PP
August 06, 2005
Of old, hear the tale of a Quarrelsome Tilt-a-Whirl between the Chief Seer of the Realm, one respected of man and beast! He was the Lord K–z-s of the Queen’s College, and his tormentor Valiant, an itinerant Mendicant and Impudent Priest, scurrilous clergy of vague Reputation who spake with pathetick and elaborate manner so to undermine the strength of Lord K’s theoretickal Advises and Whispers to the Queene, Libertie by Name, such scheme being referred to as such by the Gentlemen of the Court as “Principled Pluralism,” which in parlance and parlay became as a matter of Convenience “PP” to all.
The Wise set great store by this “PP” and its Magick worked upon the Queen was said to extend at prodigious length into all affairs of State to create that moderate and temperate circumstance of mutual satisfaction, and therefore peace. Yet the Patre dressed in rags remonstrated in full voice upon the Lorde and those pretty courtiers in-gathered, “What’s this!? I see thou makest stiff work of it with the Queen and sit spritely at her table; thou riseth with every move she maketh, Deferential and Discreete, and heap accolades upon your treasured ‘PP’ as that instrument of Heavenly Glorie by which you keepe your spot of comfortable repose. Appear, Do Ye, Weird to me.” The Lord K glanced left and right, who was this unsightly figure? His advisors the Duke of Sk—en and of Sch—er, gathered rounde and conferred the oracles with incantations odd, “Hownowbrowncow” and other muddled chants, and soon emerged with visage bright to set Lord K. aright. “I see not why I should hear the likes of you,” Lord K. said to the priest, “for certes it is true as I have heard expressed, from Lady Liberty’s mouth no less, that my PP is quite Pleasing.”
“Of that I’m sure,” came the reply, “and yet are ye not by such close Accorde stripped of your place as Seer, left naked as it were?” The Gentlemen of Court how they stuttered and they stammered, so unused where they to hearing ill spake of their-selves in this way.
Unabated now the Father pressed home his Case, “And does not your simpering coddle of your precious ‘PP’ leave you quite without recourse against the excesses of the Queene? You cannot even countenance those poor brutes what come off your own estates, your fleshe and bloode, as they clamor at the castle gates to see some justice done! Your ‘PP’ is what makes you weak I say.” And here bursting forth from out the crowd came one tenderling, young in years, an apprentice of the Gentlemen he was, one Mr. B. D—–ma, and red-faced with rage: “How dare you sir come in this place dressed in your rags of old, and impugn the virility of my mighty PP.” The court stood a moment in silence and then, as if of one accord, the courtiers all slightly bowed their heads to cover mouths, and the sound of stifled giggles filled the hall. The old cleric took a princely bow and then made to depart, and relished the abject confusion upon the young apprentice’s face.
This is The Play Called the Great PP in The Japery, a part of The New Pantagruel. Previously: We Have Religion and Values Too | Next: Against Instant Publishing | TrackBack (0) | Comments (0)
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